We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
