and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
