There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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