i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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