Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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