i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
His hands were made for my vagina.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
