She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
