it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
