By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
