But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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