I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
