as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
