I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well I just put wine in my tea
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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