so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Ladies don't puke and tell
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
