my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Boobs are out for the taking
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
