You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
