At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
