Welp...herpes.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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