Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
