i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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