So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
