ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
do nipples grow back?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
