I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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