that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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