Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize