So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
