Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Mom said you looked used
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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