Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
