just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize