He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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