He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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