Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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