i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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