butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
