This house was built for laser tag.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
