8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
