Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize