champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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