What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
