I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
