Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize