Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
