I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
