chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
