no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
