no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
