No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
