there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
