It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
