Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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