To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
