I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
