now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
