I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
