haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just wanna soil my oats bro
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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