I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
