So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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