Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
