ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize