yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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