i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just googled if crying burns calories
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's blow job season.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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