its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
